Devotion. Worship. Forgiveness. Sex. LOVE.
All powerful concepts that, for many of us, have been tainted by fear, control, and manipulation...which is often mirrored back to us in the way we experience intimate relationships.
The first 10 years of our own marriage, the focus was consistently on the self: my needs, my desires, my limits. The question was often, "How can you meet my needs and show me love?"
Then, the focus shifted to equality: our boundaries, our negotiations, our compromises. The question was often, "Are we both getting our needs met and is this exchange of love fair?"
Then...in (what author David Deida calls) third stage relationship, we experienced real Love for the first time. The sole focus became embodying Love through Union: Union within, and Union with each other.